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What guys want girls to know, what girls want guys to know

Ten years ago, we asked teens about the relationships between guys and girls. This year, we asked them the same questions. We thought there might be a difference in a decade, but a lot of things stayed the same. Whether 2003 or 2013, guys and girls are interested in trust, honesty and respect – pretty eternal values for relationships!


What mistakes do girls make with guys?

2003

  • They read into things too much.
  • They flirt too much.
  • They think guys care only about looks.

2013

  • They read too much into what we do.
  • They never go for the good guy; they usually go with someone who makes bad choices.
  • They don’t say how they really feel.

What mistakes do guys make with girls?

2003

  • Pressuring them.
  • Judging them based on their looks and bodies.
  • Downplaying things that are important to girls.

2013

  • Insulting girls’ activities, for example, saying, “You throw like a girl” as an insult. You gotta have respect.
  • They don’t always respect us and our personal boundaries, whether they are sexual or otherwise.
  • Expecting girls to look like celebrities.

This is what I want in a relationship:

2003

  • Deep conversations
  • Sharing faith and growing closer to God.
  • Complete trust and honesty.

2013

  • Honesty and trust.
  • Fun and spontaneity.
  • Equal cooperation and input from each partner.

This is what I want in a relationship:

2003

  • God to be the center.
  • Good communication.
  • A mutual friendship built on love, respect, trust and faith.

2013

  • Honesty, respect, communication.
  • Faith.
  • Someone who cares as much for me as I do for him.

What I am NOT looking for in a relationship:

2003

  • Premarital sex.
  • Too much talking or too little.
  • Someone who isn’t Catholic.

2013

  • Someone who is fake.
  • Cheating or dishonesty.
  • Drama.

What I am NOT looking for in a relationship:

2003

  • Someone who is dominating, disrespectful, dishonest, abusive or jealous
  • Someone who won’t help me in my faith.
  • Someone who consumes all my time.

2013

  • A relationship based on sex, or the pressure to have sex.
  • Disrespect and lack of trust.
  • Clinginess.

If you want to know me better, you will:

2003

  • Talk to me.
  • Spend time with me.
  • Be interested in who I am.

2013

  • Carry on an intelligent conversation – don’t act dumb!
  • Talk to me instead of instantly judging me.
  • Spend time with me.

If you want to know me better, you will:

2003

  • Spend time talking to me.
  • Pay attention and listen.
  • Meet my family.

2013

  • Talk to me.
  • Listen to what I have to say.
  • Treat me as a person, not an object.

If you have a problem with the fact that God is important to me, you can:

2003

  • Find someone else.
  • Be willing to learn about God.
  • Feel free to ask me about God.

2013

  • Leave.
  • Try to deal with it or see my side.
  • Find someone else.

If you have a problem with the fact that God is important to me, you can:

2003

  • Not date me.
  • Leave.
  • Find someone else – I’ll pray for you.

2013

  • Show yourself out – the door is that way!
  • Not date me and I will pray for you.
  • Learn to respect it or leave.

If you want to know me better, you better not:

2003

  • Flirt with other guys.
  • Act differently depending on who you are around
  • Be cruel to others or disrespectful to God.

2013

  • Judge me.
  • Talk all the time – guys have feelings too and would occasionally like to be listened to.
  • Pretend to be someone you’re not.

If you want to know me better, you better not:

2003

  • Do drugs or get drunk.
  • Swear.
  • Be rude to others or disrespectful to God.

2013

  • Be rude, mean or disrespectful.
  • Interrupt or ignore me.
  • Push me.

I am really interested in someone who:

2003

  • Is open to sharing her thinking and speaking her mind; isn’t afraid of being herself.
  • Loves God.
  • Shows support and wants to get to know me.

2013

  • Is interested in what I have to say.
  • Loves sports.
  • Shares and respects my values.

I am really interested in someone who:

2003

  • Has a strong love for God and takes his faith seriously.
  • Is kind, respectful and trustworthy.
  • Can be himself without having to show off.

2013

  • Has a strong faith.
  • Is funny.
  • Likes me for me.

This is what I have to offer in a relationship:

2003

  • Faith and love of God.
  • Honesty trust and listening ears.
  • A sense of humor.

2013

  • Honesty and trustworthiness
  • Someone who will stand by a girl
  • Love – the real me.

This is what I have to offer in a relationship:

2003

  • Love of God and encouragement to grow in faith.
  • Support, respect, listening, understanding.
  • Humor, fun and laughter.

2013

  • Love.
  • Being funny.
  • Honest and trustworthy

If you aren’t Catholic, and you want to go out with me, you should know:

2003

  • I will accept you, but I won’t change.
  • My faith is very important to me, so don’t try to change that.
  • I will try to show you the truth.

2013

  • I’m not apologizing for my faith – know that God comes first.
  • I will encourage you to go to church with me, and I won’t stop going because of you.
  • I’m really only interested in Catholic girls.

If you aren’t Catholic, and you want to go out with me, you should know:

2003

  • My faith is the most important thing to me and will not change.
  • We can talk about faith, and I will try to answer any questions you have.
  • Our relationship may not last.

2013

  • I won’t change for you.
  • Faith comes first.
  • I respect your beliefs, as long as you respect mine.

Best differences between guys and girls:

2003

  • Girls can have children
  • Girls are more passionate and guys are more laid back – it’s a good balance.
  • Girls tend to be more caring.

2013

  • Their ability to listen
  • Girls are somewhat more intelligent decision makers.
  • Guys like to solve problems; girls like to relate to others. Both are vital.

Best differences between guys and girls:

2003

  • Guys often keep things simple and are more laid back.
  • Their different ways of solving problems.
  • Guys are comforting when girls are emotional.

2013

  • They think differently
  • They balance each other out.
  • Guys have less drama.

Girls can help guys practice chastity by:

2003

  • Dressing modestly
  • Practicing chastity – talking about it.
  • Drawing a line that does not get crossed.

2013

  • Wearing modest clothing
  • Teaching us.
  • Not being too “lovey.”

Girls can help guys practice chastity by:

2003

  • Dressing appropriately.
  • Practicing it ourselves.
  • Talking about why chastity is important.

2013

  • Wearing modest clothing.
  • Saying no and setting boundaries.
  • Saying no to pressure.

Guys can help girls practice chastity by:

2003

  • Respecting her by not starting anything or going too far.
  • Controlling my emotions.
  • Not spending the night at her house.

2013

  • Not putting pressure on them.
  • Not making sexual jokes.
  • Respecting their reasons for saying ‘no.’

Guys can help girls practice chastity by:

2003

  • Not pressuring me.
  • Understanding what chastity is and practicing it himself.
  • Talking about why chastity is important.

2013

  • Being respectful of boundaries
  • Practicing chastity with them.
  • Making them feel beautiful all the time.

I am disgusted when:

2003

  • A girl shows a lack of respect for herself by the way she dresses or acts.
  • She flirts with every guy.
  • She smokes or swears.

2013

  • Girls do not wear correct clothing.
  • Girls burp really loud.
  • I see graphic nudity scenes in some movies.

I am disgusted when:

2003

  • A guy swears.
  • A guy is disrespectful to women or talks about them as objects.
  • A guy smokes and drinks.

2013

  • I see people making out in the hallways of school.
  • I see teen relationships based on sex.
  • People cheat.

One thing I think every girl or guy should know about the other is:

2003

  • Guys are not all ‘pigs’ – there are a lot of nice guys out there.
  • God is the center of a good relationship.
  • Dress modestly and set high standards of love and respect.

2013

  • Everyone is special in their own way
  • Their likes and dislikes.
  • Where they want to go in life.

One thing I think every girl or guy should know about the other is:

2013

  • Respect and honesty are key.
  • There’s a special girl out there – treat all girls as you would treat her.
  • Praying and being chaste are essential – not unmanly.

2013

  • Everyone is unique – stand true to who you are.
  • We’re all just people and gender shouldn’t affect how we get along.
  • Boundaries.