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Father Joe - April 2014

<h2>I don’t like my pastor what can I do about it?</h2><h3><span style="color:#2669a7;">Q:</span> Dear Father Joe: I have some serious concerns about the way my priest is running our parish. What do I do about it? And when do I go to the bishop to ask him to transfer our pastor?</h3>
<h3><span style="color:#2669a7;">A:</span> These are two great questions that I hope one answer will address. As people who love our faith and are invested in the way our local parish lives it, it is inevitable that we will run into situations where we argue or differ over something. This can actually be a good thing as, right at the root of the problem is the fact that we all have emotion tied to our experience of the local Church: if no one cared, that would be the real tragedy.</h3>
<p>Right now, it seems to me we are in a contentious time in the history of the Church. The Internet seems overrun with people who want to fix the Church and who seem more than willing to sacrifice charity, or even basic Christian ideas, in their pursuit of more followers for their cause. It’s a tragedy.</p>
<p>In the midst of this is the call from Jesus to respect each other and show reverence for the presence of Jesus in all who follow him. This idea can be shown in the very real issue of how to deal with people, particularly pastors, with whom we disagree. How do we, as lovers of Christ, handle these conflicts?</p>
<p>As we look into this, I want to share a great quote from St. Augustine: “In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity.”</p>
<p>So the first step, as always, is to pray. If you’re a world class worrier like I am, then whatever troubles you have with your priest tend to pop into your head quite often. Each time one does, offer a prayer to God. Say something simple like, “God, I give this person to you.” Praying is not a lack of action or a cop-out – it’s a concrete response to pain. By offering the situation and/or person to God, we are allowing the Holy Spirit to come in and start the process of convicting and healing.</p>
<p>As a priest who is serving as pastor right now, I know I need prayer from God’s people. I make mistakes, I forget things, I can lack charity, love sin – I can get overwhelmed by all the loud voices out there that want to shape me as a priest. Sometimes, it’s very hard to figure out which one is the Holy Spirit. I know that people, some of whom may not like me, are praying for me to be holy, to be a good priest and a saint, and that fills me with joy. It can be really hard to pray for people we don’t like, but it’s always a good thing for us to do.</p>
<p>After prayer, the next step is to make sure you are avoiding gossip. There is so much talk out there, so many wounds that never had to happen simply because we don’t talk to each other as much as we talk about each other. Be bigger than that! Each time you are invited to “discuss Father,” offer a simple reminder to people that talking about it won’t make it better, but prayer will.</p>
<p>The next step is to go see your priest. Ask for some time to talk about what is going on and ask questions when you get there. A simple rule for your discussion can be this: You don’t know what you don’t know. By asking questions instead of accusing, you leave room for the truth to come out.</p>
<p>Now, in all of this, I hope one thing is clear: I’m not approaching this as if you are wrong and the priest is right – not at all. I’m just making sure that you and I focus on controlling the one thing we are called to control: ourselves. It may very well be that your priest is in serious need of being “dealt with.” It may very well be that he has abandoned charity or prayer and is simply acting like a CEO. It may very well be that he is wrong, or you are wrong, or you are both wrong – who knows? What we do know is that the only way we’ll find out is by following the process given to us by Jesus.</p>
<p>By approaching this situation in the way you have, you are obeying the directive that Jesus gave us in Matthew 18. You are giving your priest a chance to explain why he does what he does and seeing if the two of you cannot reconcile and work together with Jesus for the salvation of the world. It may be that this process ends well and a new love and respect is born between you two. It may be that this makes it all much, much worse. If that happens, what do we do now?</p>
<p>This is when you take the next step and contact your bishop. Write him a letter that you sign and explain what you see and how you have responded so far. Ask him for a response to your letter. If you’re feeling particularly helpful, enclose an envelope with a stamp and your address on it!</p>
<p>Like many people, our bishops are busy. It may take him a bit to get back with you – make sure you pray while you wait. Pray that the Holy Spirit guides your bishop to respond in the way Jesus wants him to. Pray that you and your priest can reconcile and work together. Pray that wounds will be healed and situation restored.</p>
<p>It may be that the bishop addresses this issue in private with your priest and that you never find out the specifics. If, after a reasonable time has passed, you haven’t received an acknowledgement of your letter, you may want to call the bishop’s office to ensure the letter was received. At that point, you might also request a meeting to discuss the issue if it does not appear to have been resolved. Remember, your goal is not to fix the situation, but to be faithful to what God has called you to: addressing the issue.</p>
<p>I hope this is helpful. As both a layperson and a priest, I’ve been involved in situations like these and it can be very painful. I pray that God lead and guide you each step of the way.</p>
<p><em>Enjoy another day in God’s Presence!</em></p>
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<p>If you’d like to submit a question for Father Joe Krupp to consider in a future column, please send it to: <a href="mailto:joeinblack@priest.com">joeinblack@priest.com</a&gt;. Father Joe is unable to personally answer questions.</p>