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 | By Cynthia Kaan

Dealing with Friends’ Breakups

My friends broke up after dating for quite a while; and I want to stay close with both of them. Is that even possible?

Not every romantic relationship is destined for the permanence of marriage. That is a hard truth to swallow when your friends break up and your circle suddenly feels broken. How do you maintain friendships without causing more heartache?

1.  Trust. You love and respect them both. While you witnessed part of their journey as a couple, you were not in the relationship. Everyone will need to trust that harsh words are not being spoken against one another behind closed doors. Ask them to respect your friendship with each of them so that trust can remain.

2.  Honesty. If one wants to make plans and you already have plans with the other, do not lie. It will cause more hurt for one to discover you were not truthful, as it will raise concern about your trustworthiness in other things.

3.  Prayer. Pray with and for each of them. Ask the Holy Spirit to bless your friendships and allow healing to occur.

4.  Encourage growth. Challenge them to see the good in each other; then challenge them to pray about where they may have fallen short in the relationship. Proverbs 27:17 proclaims, “Iron is sharpened by iron, one person sharpens another.” Encourage them to be open to God’s desire to prepare them for something/someone else.

Remember, sometimes we are called to be the calm in someone’s storm – and sometimes God has a different role for us, and we are called to walk away. Call upon Christ to be your guide.