Widowed in her thirties, Jodi’s life was uprooted when her first husband died and she became a single mom. “It was a traumatic time,” she recalls. Jodi and her two children moved to Pennsylvania to be closer to family but eventually returned to Michigan. Jodi continued seeking God’s will, and that led Jodi to a deeper love for the Catholic Church, a grace that would bring healing and peace into her life. As Jodi’s relationship with the Lord deepened, her desire for marriage also grew. 

Deacon Todd, having spent his youth “looking for spiritual roots,” bounced between various Christian denominations and landed in a Presbyterian church. It was during his time in that church that he entered what he describes as “an unhealthy marriage.” When his marriage ended in divorce, Deacon Todd and his three children found themselves in a time of upheaval.

Years later when Deacon Todd and Jodi met on a blind date, they ignored advice they had received to avoid talking about faith or other “hot topics.” Instead of heeding that guidance, the two spent hours discussing God and their desire for a relationship centered on Christ. That, in turn, established a foundation for their future. Deacon Todd says he began to feel drawn to Catholicism and ultimately could not deny that God was “calling him home.” Following that call, he became Catholic in 2009 and later began the eight-year discernment and formation process that led to his diaconate ordination.

Married in 2010, the couple says they entered a time of bliss where all of their children embraced their newly blended family. “Todd’s children were in their 20s,” Jodi recalls, “and mine were 12 and 7. And they all loved it at first.” Despite the smooth start, challenges emerged as their children grappled with the new family dynamics. “There are natural struggles,” Deacon Todd says. “The difficult thing about blended families is that, while the husband and wife are choosing to be together, everyone else is grieving and has had a real loss. Those who suffer the most are the children because the children are not choosing the new parent. So, there must be a sensible and slow approach to bringing the family together.”

Having been introduced to the work of psychologist Ron L. Deal, Deacon Todd and Jodi devoured his book The Smart Stepfamily and quickly agreed to use his materials to lead the blended family retreats. Ministering to people in situations similar to theirs, Deacon Todd and Jodi recognize the gift of the Church’s seeing a need and responding generously. “The statistics say that 67 percent of second marriages end in divorce, but when you put Jesus in the center of second marriages, the rate goes down to 25 percent. So, we are blessed that our diocese sees a need for this, and we are happy to be a part of it. Because putting people in normal marriage preparation classes when they’ve been married before doesn’t always make sense. They are dealing with different issues and need a different approach.” Supported by the Diocese of Lansing Office of Marriage, Family, and Life Ministries, Diocesan Services Appeal dollars from the faithful across the diocese help make the blended family retreat and other marriage preparation programs a reality.

“The retreat we offer is a distinctively Catholic approach,” Jodi explains. “The entire program is drenched in scripture and the practical teachings of the Bible. Our hope is ultimately that this helps people stay married. The statistics on divorce are disheartening, but with God there is hope.” Todd agrees, adding that they pray that those who participate in the retreat experience their own conversions. “I hope,” he says, “that we are empowering and commissioning blended family couples; that they can experience God’s healing and love and go out and help, too. God’s love is enough, let’s go share it.”