One Family ­ Two Religions
2 Ways to Help Your Family Adjust to Conversion

Our culture emphasizes personal autonomy, yet when one family member makes a life altering decision, the entire family changes. The Latin word, converso, means to whirl around, to transform, to cause to turn about. Being among those “caused to turn,” rather than the one making the decision, is difficult. The comfortable pattern of family life that has developed over time seems threatened. Loved ones mourn that “things will never be the same again.” What helps families adjust?

1 Acknowledge the change: Conversion does involve transformation. The plea, “Create in me a clean heart, O God” (Psalm 51) is answered by the cleansing waters of baptism. But this transformation is not just a private, interior change. The longing to direct one’s heart to seek the will of Christ influences choices and behaviors that are evident to others. The family has experienced a loss; familiar routines have been disrupted. It may take a while before loved ones are ready to regroup and explore new ways of relating.

2 Remember that the family is a system: Aspects of relationships with one another and with nature are constantly in flux, although we try to impose a sense of stability and predictability on our world. Those living near the Great Lakes are aware of the migration of the sand dunes as they are pushed by driving winds. Vegetation and trees are buried in sand but the roots of new life take hold as beach grass and sand cherries appear on top of the new dune. In the same way, the whirling change of conversion shifts the intertwined lives of mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers. Time, patience, and gracious acceptance of one another’s reactions may be needed for each person to adjust, to put roots down in new soil, and to feel family stability again.

You are not alone: After she encountered Jesus at the well, the Samaritan woman hurried to town saying, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.” (John 4:29) Those baptized as adults may long for loved ones to fully understand the experience of conversion, and to see for themselves the joy of following Christ. As a new person in Christ, the convert provides witness of God’s love. Venerable John Henry Newman wrote, “The heart is commonly reached, not through the reason, but through the imagination, by means of direct impressions, by the testimony of facts and events, by history, by description. Persons influence us, voices melt us, looks subdue us, deeds inflame us.” Whatever our age at baptism, our call is to listen to the wisdom of the Spirit so that our voices and deeds reflect the love of God.

Originally Published: February 2002