connecting
how to build a team-marriage: 6 ways to work together and communicate better
Being in a team-marriage presumes you are deeply committed to each other and to your marriage. Notwithstanding your other commitments to work, raising children, caring for aging parents, keeping in shape, etc., your marriage is a foundation for life. It’s your vocation, your calling from God. If your marital relationship isn’t firm – guess what happens? Everything else suffers. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do the things you have to do. But try putting your marriage at the center of your life together and working everything else around it. It will bring you peace in the long run. The following are some thoughts and questions to consider:
1 Do your lives feel out of control? Are you doing too many things?
2 Are you communicating on a regular basis?
3 Set aside 20 minutes every day for sharing and a one-hour block every week for more in-depth conversations.
4 Make room for God. Pray together. He’s the source of
your unity.
5 Share decision-making. If you’re over-burdened, tell your partner. He or she can’t read your mind. Don’t blame,
just share.
6 Accept that you’re each unique and different. Therefore, use each other’s strengths to build a great marriage. – Tony Sperendi

money tip
how to tame the debt monster:
Debt is almost up there with death and taxes. We have so much because it’s everywhere, and easy to obtain. Personal debt is now an integral part of our economy and culture. Oh boy! Getting out – and staying out – of hock is an important function of managing, controlling and following your family financial plan.
This is why knowing your family’s financial attitudes, philosophies and goals – coupled with a strong budget and vision – is so vital. Most of us can’t live without mortgages or car loans, but we can choose the cost of our home, the age and style of our vehicles, as well as the frequency of our purchases.
Credit cards are useful and convenient, but revolving debt should not be a gateway to overspending. If you make only minimum payments, carry large balances, or regularly use other credit cards to make payments, get help! You can get sucked into the credit card trap and find yourself seeking a bankruptcy attorney.
If debt starts overwhelming you, sit down with your spouse and revisit your plan – and starting with a prayer might be a good idea! – John Morris

time matters
how to turn “your” stuff into “our” stuff:
In today’s modern world, she has “her stuff” and he has “his stuff.” Hers may look like scrap-booking, flower gardening, sewing or going to an exercise class. His may look like fishing, hunting, woodworking or golf. But do the two of you have a sport, hobby or interest you share?
Take time to learn or experience something new together; maybe a craft neither of you has pursued before. A shared interest can teach you more about each other as you work together, and the process will enhance your relationship. A shared interest is a great bonding experience.
– Tom and JoAnne Fogle
Time tip: Finish those projects you have begun but haven’t completed. Completing tasks reduces stress and frees up more time for the two of you!

romance and intimacy
romance stale? how to take a fresh look at your spouse
Have you ever been on a walk with a two-year-old child? Well, if you think you’re going to burn off the calories from that chocolate chip cookie you ate a little while ago, forget it! If you want to rid yourself of anxious energy – that go, go, go, hurry up stuff – take notes from a toddler or try to mimic your own child – when it comes to your relationship, that is. Notice how children will pick up anything on their journeys: a stone, a pine cone, a twig. Handling it with exceptional care, they study it with such wonder, as if it were a rare and precious jewel. They are completely oblivious to the existence of time, never in a rush to go on to the next thing. Romance can be as simple as looking at your spouse with that same innocent wonder. It begins with a first step toward re-prioritizing. Let go of some other obligations. Then, just take your time and marvel at your husband or wife. When we take on the imagination of a child, it’s easy to see our spouse as God’s own miracle.
– Rick and Diane Peiffer.

prayer moment
forgiveness prayer
Her: Give me your view, your love, for him. I’m groping in the dark here.
Him: Give me your peace. Give me words to pour oil on troubled waters, ease the tension, mend the torn fabric of our
relationship.
Her: Give me that bigger-picture view from where you see it. I want to forgive “seventy time seven times.”
Him: Thank you, God, my friend. I will forgive as you forgive me. – Pat Nischan

Originally Published: November 2004